One Bosom Friend
Tuesday, February 28, 2012 at 4:33PM Update: Juanita links to R.C. Sproul’s I Have Friends in the comments. It fits quite nicely with Packer’s comments.
From the chapter on fellowship in 18 Words: The Most Important Words You Will Ever Know by J. I. Packer:
Christians today lack fellowship. We have many so-called ‘fellowship’ meetings, of different sorts, but the reality of fellowship is commonly absent, and, indeed, is rarely sought. That is because in our thinking we have substituted a secular, social idea of fellowship as a jolly get-together for the biblical Trinitarian idea of fellowhip as helping each other draw nearer to the Father and the Son through the power of the Holy Spirit. Hence we think we are enjoying fellowship when really we are not experiencing fellowship at all. we need a more realistic assessment of our situation in this respect.
…Christians today must seek fellowship. The Puritans used to ask God for one ‘bosom friend’, with whom they could share absolutely everything and maintain a full-scale prayer-partner relationship; and with that they craved, and regularly set up, group conversations about divine things. We should be wise to follow their example at both points.
What do you think? Do you have a ‘bosom friend’? Have you asked for one?
I’ve finished reading this book and hope to post a review shortly.
Reader Comments (10)
I would say that the only 'bosom' friend I've ever had is my husband. I have a couple of good female friends, but I don't have one female friend I could share everything with. If I was ever to be widowed, I guess I'd have to start praying for one of those.
My husband was a bosom friend, too. But I have a feeling the Puritans meant someone other than one's spouse. Perhaps because they had more expectation than we do of losing spouses early.
I'm thankful to have 2 bosom friends, one of which is my daughter. I don't know where I would be without them.
I'm looking forward to your review, Rebecca.
I've always thought the term 'bosom friend' referred to someone other than one's spouse, even though the dearest relationship is that spouse. The sharing of absolutely everything with someone besides my husband seems a little scary and unlikely, but that would diminish, I suppose, if I could truly trust that 'bosom friend' completely. I've never had that kind of relationship, (besides my husband) and my prayers concerning friendship reveal a doubt that such a friendship could actually be a reality. Too many disappointments in the past, I suppose, brought me to the conclusion that perhaps we're not meant to have such a close relationship besides our spouse.
But, hey, the Puritans are way beyond me and know a lot more than I do. I sure do like the idea of pursuing group conversations about divine things. But where do you find the group?
This is an interesting topic.
I have to admit, Rosemary, that I am a little suspicious of 'bosom friendships', too.
Rebecca, did you see this article by RC Sproul Jr. today? https://www.facebook.com/notes/rc-sproul-jr/the-kingdom-notes-i-have-friends/255277387887130 It fits in very well with your quote from Packer.
I do have a couple of very close female friends and I think that it's a good thing. I don't think you need to tell them everything but having close friends is indeed a blessing.
Juanita
Jaunita,
Thanks for that link. It does fit.
I have mixed feelings Rebecca. On one hand I always keep in mind John 2:24-25
"Jesus did not commit Himself unto them … for He knew what was in man." As well meaning as we may be, confidences can be betrayed through sinfulness or just plain forgetfulness. On the other hand, I think people are too uptight in general and need to not worry so much about being a bit more transparent and willing to take risks for the sake of being able to minister to one another.
For me, I do have some wonderful "bosom" friends, but I still think my deepest thoughts are best kept with Christ.
I have a friend whom I thought was going to become 'bosom friend' and in the last six months I have had to back up from her because I discovered that she had been revealing things to others which I'd shared with her. I also found her becoming controlling and treating me like I was an idiot all of the time. I often feel very anxious at the thought of trusting someone enough to tell them everything. I agree with Juanita that friends are good, but even then, we cannot tell them everything.
Tthat would be hard, Kim.
I've had a couple people I thought might become that sort of friend, but as things progressed I found that I didn't trust their judgment in the realm of spiritual things.So I could become friends, even good friends, maybe, but not with the kind of fellowship Packer is describing.